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Wednesday, 13 April 2011

Domestic Violence and S&M are not the same thing!

I would have thought that this would be pretty obvious to people but apparently it is something which needs to be pointed out. S&M is a sexual fetish involving pleasure which is derived from pain, Sadomasachitic sexual are acts between two consenting adults, boundaries are set and there are appropriate measures put in place to make sure that things fo not get out of hand such as the use of safewords. S&M is about safe and consensual enjoyment between two people and the submissive partner or "bottom" has complete control of what happens to them during the scene. Domestic violence of the other hand is not consensual and the partner to whom the violence is directed has no say in the matter, unlike S&M it is far from safe and there are many deaths (mostly of women) which are a direct result of domestic violence.

This is something that really infuriates me and it has been brought to public attention recently due to the actions of RnB star Rihanna. For those of you who dont know the story itrecently came to light that rihanna's relationship with ex partner singer Chris Brown had been an abusive one after Brown was arrested and charged with battery and felony domestic violence, Brown originally plead not guilty but follwong a plea bargain plead guilty to felony assault he was sentenced to five years of probation one year of domestic violence counseling, and six months of community service the judge retained a five-year restraining order on Brown, which requires him to remain 50 yards away from Rihanna, 10 yards at public events. Earlier this year Rihanna released her controversial single S&M, the vidoe for which was immediately banned in 11 countries and during interviews with various magazines to promote this single rihanna has repeatedly said that she enjoys sadomasochistic sexual practices, with quotes such as "I love to be tied up and spanked. I like to be whipped." This revalation has caused something of a stir and has got people talking about the Chris Brown case,  people like this asshole. It would seem that some people really are that stupid and don't understand that there is a distinct difference between a safe act between two consensual adults and one person commiting a violent attack on another, the human race never cease to surprise and dumbfound me.

In summary, just because a woman has masochistic tendencies and likes the thought of S&M or even if she actively participates in sadomasochistic sexual practices, this does not give her partner(s) carte blanche to treat her is a violent way or beat her up causing serious injury and possibly death.

I'm getting increasingly angry whilst writting this and it is in danger of becoming an unintelligable rant so I will leave you with this.
  1. If you are interested in S&M, learn more about what it is before you dive in, it can be a lot of fun, but as with anything where there is a possibilty of harm you should always be prepared, there are numerous websites and books that offer S&M 101 guides and insights so have a look around and know what you're getting into before you commit to anything
  2. If you are a practitioner of S&M whether dominant, or submissive, be consensual, be smart, and be same. Remember those safewords and have fun
  3. If you're in an abusive reltionship, get out, I know its hard but you can do it, I did and I've never looked back. Get away and make him pay, not through eye for eye revenge but through the legal system like rihanna did.
  4. If you're the violent party in an abusive relationship. Stop! Think about what you're doing and why. Man up and stop being a complete arsehole!

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