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Friday, 18 February 2011

30 Day Challenge - Day 7

Todays task is what is your opinion of your body and how comfortable you are with it.

I don't think that anyone is 100% happy with their boday and I think that honestly everyone could realistically come up with at least one thing that they would change. I don't have the perfect body, and I honestly don't believe that I ever will. I've always been broad shouldered and I am fairly big boned (as in I actually have large bones, rather that the common excuse fat people use). I was athletically built when I was younger and I was always fairly active, I did years of dance and swimming and also played a lot of sport, mostly netball and hockey. When I was a teenager I broke my ankle and was in a wheelchair and then on crutches for quite some time, it was during this time that my mental health problems started and I was put on Olanzapine, one of the major side effects of which is sever weight gain. The weight gain from the drugs combined with my inabillity to exercise or really move around much meant that my weight ballooned. I have had issues with my weight ever since, the depression lead to comfort eating and my continued dedication to my academic career meant an constantly increased workload and an increasing proprtion of my life sat with my head in books, rather than leading an active lifestyle. 

I have hated my body pretty much all of my life, even before the weight gain I wasn't happy. I am currently working on improving my lifestyle since I have graduated from university. Sheldon and I are watching what we eat, eating regular meals and being more active, trying to get in shape. I have also more or less stopped comfort eating (with the exception of the monthly chocloate need, ladies I'm sure you know what I mean) and I am feeling more comfortable in my own skin. This new found comfort with my own body is largely due to Sheldon's reassurance that I am beautiful just the way that I am and that he loves me no matter what. I am still endeavouring to loose some weight but I'm not obsessing over it, and this time I'm doing it for me, not because I want other people to see me differently. I'm not going to say that I don't care what other people think of me becasue that would be a colosal lie, but I care less about the opinions of the shallow, vein, superficial individuals and more about the opinions of my nearest and dearest as it it their opinions that matter.

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