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Thursday, 17 February 2011

30 Day Challenge - Day 6

What are 6 things you like about yourself or that you are good at.

This one has taken me quite sometime to acutally write as I have some major self esteme issues and my first response to this task was nothing. There isn't really anything I like about myself and for every positive I can think of a negative eg I quite like my hair, but its a lot less blonde than it used to be, its gotten darker since I entered my teens, its also thinner than it once was as it started falling out a few years ago due to stress. I have had a good hard think though and I have come up with 6 things, and here they are.

  1. I'm a survivor. I have struggled a lot in my life, with my mental health problems, a history of abuse from my mother and also my ex, and continual self doubt, but I've made it through. Despite everything that I have gone through I am a 22 year old university graduate in a successful, long term, relationship. I have goals for the future and I am beginning to eliminate the negative influences from my life and start to feel better about myself.
  2. I'm a caring person and this makes me feel good about myself. I know that Sheldon trust me to take care of him when he's I'll and he feels that he can show his vulnerable side around me and that I will be there for him. I'm also often the person that people confide in or come to for advice and I will always do my best to help them.
  3. I'm a logical person, I don't just acccept things at face value, I question and analyse everything that is presented to me. Some would say that this could be interpreted as a negative or annoying trait, but I like it about my self, cos it means I will never become one of the mindless followers or "sheeple" as I like to call them.
  4. I'm determined, no matter how tough things get I will not give up. I did consider intermitting and taking a year out of university when the onset of my most recent depressive episode occured, but I stuck it out and I finished my degree, I came out of university with a Second Class Honours Degree, despite a rather severe and untreated episode of depression and anxiety which continued for most of my final year. It's not the best degree in the world and maybe if I had intermitted I could have done better, but I feel proud of myself for having overcome my issues and made it to graduation.
  5. I am organised and able plan my day-to-day life in intricate detail, I like this about myself as it makes it easier for me to get by in life, it helps me overcome some of my anxiety and paranoia and means I can live a "normal" life.
  6. I have overcome my destructive behaviours. In the past I had an alcohol problem, which verged on alcoholism, I was addicted to painkiller (namely Codeine), I smoked 20+ cigarettes per day and also smoked weed, and I self harmed. I have now reduced my drinking to an appropriate level, and I no longer drink alone. I have given up the painkillers and now only take them when in actually pain, and Sheldon's under close supervision as its sometimes hard to control the urges. I have quit smoking cigarettes and I haven't smoked weed since before christmas. I have also stopped self harming, my scars are fading and although I still get urges from time to time, hell I've had them today, I am able to control myself and not act on them.

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